Chilling in the school yard with your friends, everyone having a great time then another girl walks up to join the conversation.. Then the awkward silence that was almost deafening! Your just standing there cause you don’t know what to do then one of the girls who were talking use that common elementary school saying, Why you all in my business!! Girls used to get on my nerves with that line. Especially the one where they were like “This conversation is between A and B so C your way outta it!” Girls were just so mean! You would always find children and teens alike talking and sharing secrets..
Much hasn’t really changed though for adults, for both males and females alike, we have taken on the right to keep folks out of our business. No one wants anyone to know what’s going on especially if they are in the wrong. Sure it’s easy to talk about and brag about the good stuff. A new job, new accomplishment. But there are some things we keep concealed, from everyone. For many different reasons but most of the time it’s the simple fear of being judged. Why would anyone want to live in hypocrisy for fear of being judged, that’s just beyond me! Sadly enough that was me, I struggled with being honest about my heart issues because it would taint the good girl persona that I wanted so desperately to maintain. That mind states was just a terrible web of deception that kept me further and further in my sin. I prayed for good friends, people who would hold me accountable, be there in support, cover me in prayer offer me the chance to be that for them. I needed community, real community.
I never knew what this looked like until I was almost forced to let new people in my life during a time of isolation. I have the chance to meet some amazing women who showed me what community for Christians looked like. They called me on a consistent basis, they prayed with me, they spent time with me, invited me to fellowships. I had never experienced anything like this in all my years of Christian living other than college. But in my adult life I felt like this is what I needed. I needed someone to show me what Christianity looked like on a daily basis from a practical stand point.
We formed a relationship to the point where they would reach out to me when something seemed wrong or if I was not conducting myself in a way the represented Christ well. They challenged me on my beliefs and values. Something new for me as well. It was uncomfortable, there were times I was mad at them for how they challenged me but it was necessary. It helped me to grow as a Christian and consider my intentions behind the things I did or said. I though I didn’t want them in my life anymore but then I realized how important community is in the Christian community. My friends were the closest people to me, they were the ones who would help me grow in my walk, who would encourage me in the lord.
We all are sinners, we all are capable of sin this is why it is important to let good Christian people in your life so that you can be held accountable to upholding Gods standards for your life. You need iron to sharpen Iron as Gods word says. It’s not good to have a bunch of “yes men” around you. You want people who are going to help you to grow. Share your heart with them, your struggles and desires. They will help you stay on track and encourage you in Gods word.. This is a big role and not everyone is mature enough to handle it. The best people to choose for this role will exhibit the following characteristics:
Trustworthy -You have to be able to trust the person you are baring your soul to. And also being honest can hurt, so you have to trust that their help is not with the intention to hurt you.
They have a genuine and exemplary love for God-There are many people that love God but don’t live a life that shows that. We need people who are a little deeper in their walk than we and are willing to be that help that we need.
They are consistent – no one likes a flake and you cant grow with a here today gone tomorrow person
They care for you and your best interest- that’s a good and true friend. They want to see you grow.
They know Gods word and apply it to daily life- there’s a big difference between knowing Gods word and applying it.
Consistent prayer life- This person will bare your burdens with you as a Christian should. Galatians 6:2
I have found this to be true in my adult life with the friendships that I have formed. It’s the fooled that says Mind your own business, we need community to help us Grow! I pray that you let someone in on the secrets of your life so that you can be made strong in your continuous walk with GOD.