The Importance of NOW!

We live in a fast paced society. Technology is moving faster than the speed of light! Social Media has single handily annihilated the game by taking over our entire existence with the addicting pull of that rectangular shaped object with a touch screen. Today’s culture is consuming us with images of what seems to be attractive lives that have the power to influence our desires. With all of this happening around us it’s important to remember YOU in all of it, where so you fit in this panoramic view of life? Where can you make your mark?

As time is passing us by one thing that I always have to remember is that time is NOT on our side. It moves with no hesitation, this is why the NOW is super important. Ecclesiastes 9:10 reminds us that whatever your hands find to do, do it with all of your might because when you die there will be no more chance to work, or plan or anything. The scripture blessed me so much and encouraged me so much to do more because I didn’t want to die with the gifts God gave me. I have always had dreams of doing amazing things for women, for children and for the church. I was never really sure how I was going to do it, and I spent so much time in school and used that as speed retardant to keep me from trying new things! Now don’t get me wrong, going to school was a blessing and it prepared me for the work that I will do in the future but I could have been doing so much more. I would say, “I don’t have the time!’ which was partially true I worked full time and did school full time and was very active in ministry while dating an amazing man. In all of that, I still could have made some time. I have a ton of gifts that I haven’t even begun to tap into and I know that now that I have started working towards sharing my gifts it will be like a flood gate has opened. I just wish I wouldn’t have waited so long even though I know its still not too late.

The scripture in Ecclesiastes reminds us not to die with your legacy, cultivate it, push through. Do it now!! “Now” is so important because it gives a sense of urgency. Now is an adverb that means “immediately”. Whatever dream you have, start doing it now, and with excellence! Don’t be afraid if you have never done it before or you don’t know what you’re doing, just start! Get help if you need it! don’t make excuses! God knew you before you were even though of and knew the gifts he gave you so don’t let that fire inside you die!  If you tried and failed, try again! There is room for your gift, there is a market for your brand, there is a seat at the table for you! Come sit with us!!!

Live Inspired Forever

Tell yourself NO!

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness…” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)

As I read this I reflect on my life and how many times I have taken GOD’s grace for granted. How many times I used ” God knows my heart!” Or “I’ll just repent later” as an excuse to do my own thing.  To have the audacity to EXPECT a holy God to forgive ME of MY sin that I KNOWINGLY commit. So many times I have done this in my heart and said it with my lips, I have chosen my own way and outrightly demanded that I be forgiven shortly after. Who am I to expect or even accept such mercy. God charges us to choose righteousness, holy living. He created us with the capacity to do so despite our imperfect nature; and our innate capacity to sin. 

Gods stength is made perfect in my weakness, what does this mean? Literally?? It means when I am faced with the option to be disrespectful  my parents that’s when God steps in and gives me strength, wisdom, and patience to love them harder.

 It means when I am hungry and I’m at work with no money and it would be easy to just take (steal) a sandwich from the fridge, I pray and allow God to help me and he sends help (food) my way.

 Or when I have decided that I would wait until marriage to have sex and I have been in a long term relationship for 4 years and we find our selves in situations where we could (hang up our coats) and we pray and ask God to help us, and he does in the most inconvenient way!  
God is awesome and powerful, his strength is far beyond what we can fathom but how can his strength be shown if we don’t allow it to be experienced . We gotta give God a chance to grow us, we have to allows ourselves to “be weak” like actually resist temptation. It’s hard! It’s easier to give in to sin but then we complain when we see no growth in our Christian walk. You really want to see some growth start telling your self NO! Start doing the things that you know will be edifying to your mind and spirit and starve the latter. Whatever you feed will grow.. whatever you starve WILL die. 

Share with me: Has anyone experienced this? How do you feel about it? Leave your thoughts and comments! 

Be at peace and walk light! ⭐️

Nyoka W.

Girls Trip!

I had a chance to see the new box office smash hit “Girls Trip” with my best friend a few weeks ago!  I had the best time with her. That movie was absolutely necessary for so many reasons at this point in my life.  It was hilariously funny and I loved all of the characters portrayed, I felt as though the movie helped to bring some comedic perspective to the true nature of female relationships and what they should look like especially in the black community. Historically we have always seen black women portrayed in a negative light in friendships; it was like every man for himself, they smile in your face and talk about you behind your back leave you out to fend for yourself. In this movie, each of the woman all live very separate lives and needed a little girl time.  With the rise of black female friendships being portrayed in a negative light on shows like Love and Hip-Hop and Housewives of Atlanta, we needed some relief.

There is a deep need for the media to continue to portray non-romantic relationships among black women. We have not seen this in a mass way since  A Different World and Girlfriends. These relationships are your chosen family, the people you can feel connected to and lean on for whatever and not feel the need to “wear the mask” and Paul Lawrence Dunbar names it. We can be ourselves and not feel the fear of being judged as “unlovable” or “mean”.  In the movie each of the girls although they had their separate lives they had a  persona they all had to portray in public. When they got together they could just vibe and be free to reminisce on the old times. I really appreciated the loyalty that they all had toward one another. Even after they had that huge fight they gave each other space and they made up!  That one factor is key in maintaining relationships, yes you will fight and disagree but it’s your love that will kill your pride and bring you back together. Think about how many friendships that we have could have been salvaged by simply apologizing, I know I can think of a few.  Girlfriends are necessary, as much as my pride would like to lead me to believe that I don’t need them, the truth is I do, we ALL do.

I recently had my own girls trip and boy did I have a great time, The way God set it up I had a person who represented each place in my life and each type of friend I had. I had a “Lifer” a friend that was always around and will always be around. I had a “connecter”  a person who became a really good friend because of life and circumstance as well as common interest. I also had a “newbie” a person that just became a friend and will probably be around for a long time. Whats interesting is we all traveled with each other with an expectation and a common goal of having a great time. My lifer reminded me that we need strong lasting connections with other females no matter how much you might try to push them away. This was such a necessary reminder because sometimes we can feel that way, like we don’t need people but when they are around and they stay you feel safe. My connector reminded me that you will always have people to come into your life and those relationships might start from situations the force you together such as work. She reminded me that there is always an opportunity to connect with people no matter where you are, sometimes the relationship is for them or for you but the common thread is that someone needs it. My newbie reminded me of the fresh newness that friends can bring into your life, It’s exciting and full of adventure.

In my 20’s I learned so much about myself and others. I have learned so much about friendship and what it looks like ( Thanks to God and Dion) I made many mistakes with people, I have even hurt many. As I enter my 30th revolution around the sun I am learning from those mistakes and striving to do better when it comes to how I treat and interact with people especially my same sex relationships. As much as I hate to admit it I need them, we need them they are our chosen family.

Check out my apparel:

My Best Friend is a Black Woman

mbfiabw

Trusty Old Chucks

                    Summertime!!!!

It was summer of 2013 I had just gotten home from being out all day long, and I got a call from my boyfriend, he wanted to take me out because I had been saying to him that I wanted pancakes. He told me he was at my door and we were going out. I was shocked at that because i was not expecting that at all. I went to open the door and there he was with bags in his hands. He bought me clothes and said we were going to get food, so of course I suggested Ihop! I went to change into the clothes that he bought for me. He bought me an offwhite Jack Willis sweater, some black leggings from american apparel and some black and white low top Chuck Taylors. I loved my comfy little outfit. we went on our way to Ihop.. it was a good time.

During the time at Ihop, I found my new sneakers to be a bit uncomfortable, they were the right size but the fit was just off. At one point they started to be a painful as the sneaker didnt fit the curves of my foot very well and chucks although a partially canvas shoe have the hard casing that takes some time to break in. But nonetheless I kept on strutin’ in my Chucks. They were new and looked so cute on my feet.

I deceided that i was going to continue to wear my chucks because I just had to break them in, Beauty is pain right? lol! so I did just that, it was very uncomfortable but I did it. After some weeks of wearing them I noticed that they were more and more comfortable with each wear, but also with each wear I also n oticed that they were getting a lil dirty, But that was ok with me because i was finally able to wear them with ease. I did decide to clean them up a lil bit but to me they just didnt look the same as when i first bought them so i decided to put them away for a while.

Today I was getting dressed for work and I needed a comfortable shoe to put on to match my look for today and i decided to dig up my trusty old Chucks. I put them on and they felt just as great as the last day that I wore them. I sat and looked at them for abit and i was reminded of the first day I recieved them, the drama I went throught to get them to be comfortable and where they are now. I was also reminded of relationships with others.

Whenever things are new they will always look amazing but there will be a lil discomfort thats life, but you just gotta keep trying at it. And when things get a little rough or dont look as great, you shouldnt be so quick to just throw them away. clean them up and keep it moving. Situations happen in life to teach you, to edify you, to help develop areas of weakness in yourself and in others. You never how grateful a person will be knowing that you didnt give up on them. Relationships are tough and go through transitions but its your attitute toward it that makes the difference. I was inspired today by my old sneakers to keep trying at whatever I’m purposes to do!! Life, friendships, family, career goals, hobbies, whatever! They maybe tattered a lil dirty, but they feel so good on my feet, so i dont care if other people dont appreciate how their dirty appearance may be,  I call it Charater! My sneaks are funky, they been through some things and they are a testimony to the victory in struggle and the importance of never giving up.. Who knows you might have some old sneaks in your closet not even realizing that they were the best thing thats ever happened to you.

 

Find Inspiration in all things!

Be Insipred

Muahz!

Lord Where is my Eagle??

The bible mentions eagles very often when making references to strength, perseverance, wisdom, and great honor. I always wondered why God would always make references to Eagles, and how does it apply to the Christian walk. During bible study  at WORD ON THE STREET, I learned that eagles are very particular and do not live and govern their lives in the same way that other birds do. Eagles have their nests high up in the air, while other birds can have nests in the same area, their nests are not as high up as the eagles nest. When they fly they soar high, other birds are not able to fly and dwell in high places. When they mate they mate in high places to keep from intermingling with other birds. This is extremely important because living as an eagle is very different than living the life of another bird. (Tribbett, 2014) I learned many other things but what it caused me to think of immediately is how God sees us as eagles, he wants us to be set apart understanding how wonderful we are because of him and how powerful we can be if we exercise his strength in us.

     I also thought about interpersonal relationships I thought about how we often find ourselves in situations where we are forced to compromise our own morals and values just to maintain a connection with a person. I’m almost certain that when God called us to be the light of the world he made us to bring light to a dark place, he called us to come out from among the rest, BE DIFFERENT. Being different is not easy, I’ll be the first to say that! But I refuse to let any random “bird” cause me to compromise my values for their friendship. I would encourage anyone reading this to fly high, don’t come down from where God has set you, challenge those wishing to be connected to you to come up to your level as you both go higher together.

     In dating relationships it’s important to carry that same “eagle mentality”, eagles mate high in the air to keep from intermingling with other birds as I said before. They know the importance of staying connected with people of like-minds and the detriment that intermingling could cause. This could cause a person to lose focus and begin to compromise and forget their value which is a DANGEROUS PLACE to be! When searching for a mate be sure that you do not Compromise what you want and need. And never compromise your values and morals to keep someone around. If they cannot do that without your help then they are NOT for you. Your counterpart should want to go higher together they should never bring you down to a low place, mentally, spiritually, physically, or emotionally. The unity should make both of your lives better. If you remember the ways of the eagle you should never have to search for them.. You will find each other!

Go with God!

 

Something to share

Something to Share..

One thing that I am most proud of when it comes to self actualization is the fact that no matter what happened to me or around me, I unapologetically always seemed to let my true colors shine through. I have always been known to march to the beat of my own drum, I paved lanes for myself, I loved hard, and was always compassionate and honest. I wasn’t always accepted for being a devout Christian, quirky, loud, blunt, and overly obsessed with strange things but I found my joy in all of these things because it all came from my heart. Though misunderstood This was the true essence of me. No one could ever say I followed anyone because I didn’t. Though rejected by a few I was fiercely loved by many. I’m grateful for those few ppl who accepted all of me, you helped me shine, you helped shape this woman you see here today! I’m especially grateful for the relationships I have formed over the past 2 years.They have been a blessing in more ways than I can even fathom, I love who I have become and expect greatness for the future. I am proud to say  She is happy, she is motivated, she is blessed, she is loved..



Be Inspired…

Simplify Your Life

Life is Moving Fast


Life can be a whirlwind at times to the point where you forget to experience the moments happening around you. I know for me life has been about goal setting and goal reaching but in all my doing it seems that they years are slipping by. Feels like just yesterday I was 18 then I woke up and was 28! 

                                                      

Where did the years go?! 



Furthermore why don’t I remember some of the major highlights of my life? 


As I sat and pondered this I realized that I was living life but not really enjoying life. Living Life and enjoying life are two separate things, to very different phenomenon’s that are executed in different ways. I was doing things and accomplishing goals and time was slipping away before I even got to enjoy LIFE! I realize that I need to do more of enjoying moments and taking the time to enjoy the beauty and richness of life at every chance we get.



Enjoying life! 

     Schuylkill River, Kelly Drive  2015                                Photo credit: N.W.

How is this done??  Simplify your life. Living a simple life without the distractions of extraneous desire for attainment of things and status will not only allows us to live as God ordained us to live but also allows us the mental freedom to live a more Purpose Driven life, our goal won’t be to attain “stuff” tied to our own desires especially if they are not rooted in Christ. If our focus is Christ then whatever we are supposed to have we will get because he will make the way for it. 

Am I saying not to have the desire for leadership? NO! Am I saying we should not want to live the dream, (whatever that looks like for you?) Not EVEN! What I am saying is in all you’re doing fix Christ at the apex of your desire and everything else will be added. THAT’S BIBLICAL!  With that in mind we will enjoy the moments of life that make for great memories.


As for me I am determined to not let this happen anymore as I approach my 30’s, so after some deep thought and thorough observation I am deciding to do a few things to help me be conscious about LIVING as I Live!

1. Give thanks, ALWAYS

2. Take pictures.

3. Laugh often.

4. Be a giver

5. Sleep when you need to.

6. Eat when you need to, stop when your full

7. Invest in someone else

8. Save for a rainy day

9. Kiss and make up  with the ones you love!

10. Enjoy family

11. Exercise when you can

12. Experience good food once in a while.

13. Pray and meditate.

14. Read Gods Word ( it’s our road map)

15. Do one thing you always wanted to do (learn a language, learn an instrument…)

16. Don’t worry about being friends with everyone focus on a faithful few but be courteous to all.

17. Take a mental health day from work every few months. ( that’s what sick days are for too.. lol)

18. Support local businesses they keep the economy going.  (It may cost a lil more but it helps the “community” in the long run.)

19. Journal, it’s like a personal timeline of your thoughts dreams and desires.)

20. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

21. Let go of grudges, if it won’t matter in 20 years or you forgot about it. Get over it.

22. Remember that people are imperfect.

23. Travel as often as you can, if you limit yourself to you current surroundings you would have missed out on all of the great things the world has to offer. (I.e. road trips count!)

24. Read a good book, just for fun!

25. Take long walks under the stars… (When its safe, we all don’t live in happy townlol)

26. Forgive… Always.

27. Take love seriously and stick with them, it may be hard but it’s worth it because nobody’s perfect. 

28. Last but not least find inspiration in everything. 

 Washington DC 2014                    Photo cred. D.R

Life is about balance, you don’t have to do EVERYTHING on this list, If you do at least 5 of the things listed here on a weekly basis you will find that your life is more fulfilled, a lot less cluttered, and you will have wonderful stories to share in the future. 


Now go experience life!


Be inspired! 


PEACE

Beauty in Death

 

Dying a closer look..

I absolutely hate funerals! I hate dead people, I hate everything about the entire process. The sadness, the crying, the life adjustments that people have to go through. I even cringe when I have to drive anywhere near a hearse ( insert cringe here) . Death just upsets me. Death just seems to interrupt things, and it comes at the most inopportune times, typically when you least expect it, its just comes and starts running things!

The interesting part of all of this is that where there is life, there must also be death. In fact, its a natural part of LIFE! Where there is light, there is also dark. Where there is high, there must also be low, and where there is life, there must also be death, (the absence of life.)
If we know this why does death always take us by surprise, and why do we hate it so?

I took a step back to ponder this for a while, I thought about all of the things that occur during the funeralization of a loved one. In Jamaican Culture we come together meeting at the home of the bereaved ( what we call “dead yaad”) to sing songs, eat good food, laugh and talk. The best part is the stories that are told, some happy but most are hilarious! Its an overall great time. Relationships are mended people take the time out to share time and space with each other.

There can be found beauty in death,

Consider the four seasons we experience, Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. We enjoy them all for their individual attributes, but the one that begins the ending of life in nature is fall. The word fall came from the old english word “feallan” which means the fall of the leaf.  The leaves of deciduous trees fall because they are going through their dying process.. We look at the trees as they are dying and think “These trees are beautiful!” ” look at the beautiful colors!” we enjoy the cool crisp air  and the beautiful leave laden landscapes, but never stop to acknowledge that we are actually admiring the process of death.

Deciduous Trees Mt.Laurel NJ. Photo cred: N.W.

We see beauty in this. Now i know the death of a loved one is quite different from leaves falling, but the point im trying to make is that there is beauty in something that can seem sad. Everything has its purpose and time. Purpose can be fulfilled even in death. To us that can be very hard to see but it takes a conscious mind to take this into consideration, to appreciate the truth in it all.

In this same vein of thought,

we all go through seasons in life that may seem dead or on its way there, but its important to remember that these things happen for 3 reasons:
1. To teach us something.
2. To protect us from something.
3. For somebody else

Its important to know that even in your struggle, its painful but others maybe looking at you viewing you through a different lense. Your struggle is beautiful to someone else, once your past it it will be beautiful to you too! Wear your tears like skillfully crafted tattoos, a badge of hope to others. Things The things that seem terrible to at face value always deserve a closer look, in all things try to find the beauty in it…

Always remember that when your going through, you never know who could be watching you!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a daddy’s girl through and through, I am so grateful to have my dad be a part of my life simply because I know so many of my dear friends who don’t have their fathers in their lives. He has been the central driving force behind who I am as a Christian woman. He has taught me so much about life through his experiences and his constant talks.

Man can my father talk, I can remember days where he would sit me down to “teach me things about life”. As a teenager I didn’t really want to hear it, but as an adult the information is invaluable. It’s true when they say you will appreciate it when you’re older.  My father is such a sweet individual but comes off as a meanie, but I know that’s just him being shy.  He loves God, He loves to help people, and is one of the hardest working men I know. It’s true when they say Jamaicans have many jobs! This man does it all, a handy man extraordinaire!

One of the greatest lessons I have learned from him is to be myself. I was taught this from a very young age. Whenever he saw that I was “actin up” he would pull me in to find out what was going on. He knew I was growing up and changing but he wanted to make sure that the changes were because I wanted to make these changes, and not because I was following a crowd! I used to hate it! But as an adult I have grown to love it my individualistic mentality. Because of him I would always march to the beat of my own drum. It’s my favorite quality about myself.

I am so blessed that he has been the provider that her has been, the protector that her has been, and the guide he has been for me. I can always call on my dad if I ever needed anything (even when he puts up a fight, lol). He always makes me laugh… terribly! His humor is so interesting but perfect for our family, when you’re with us you are bound to have a good laugh!  His is by no means a perfect man but what he is I love and appreciate dearly! I have my moments of thinking about what my life would be like if he were not here, but I quickly stop because I see no use in wasting time to do such things. I choose to appreciate his presence while he is here.

If you have your father in your life, love him appreciate him forgive him if you need to. Do whatever you can to make things right so that you can enjoy one another. If you are a father or have children in your life do what you can to be a positive influence, to be a support to a child who needs you! Positive male figures are important in the lives of children, if you have children and are intentionally keeping the father away from his children for the wrong reasons I urge you to think about how much the children need their father. God ordained the family as a unit, every person has their role, there are things a father can do that a mother cannot! Let a father be that especially if he wants to be.

Blessings to you all

Happy birthday dad!

My dad doing what he does best… Ignoring my goofiness!

Mind your OWN business

Chilling in the school yard with your friends, everyone having a great time then another girl walks up to join the conversation.. Then the awkward silence that was almost deafening! Your just standing there cause you don’t know what to do then one of the girls who were talking use that common elementary school saying, Why you all in my business!! Girls used to get on my nerves with that line. Especially the one where they were like “This conversation is between A and B so C your way outta it!” Girls were just so mean! You would always find children and teens alike talking and sharing secrets.. 

Much hasn’t really changed though for adults, for both males and females alike, we have taken on the right to keep folks out of our business.  No one wants anyone to know what’s going on especially if they are in the wrong. Sure it’s easy to talk about and brag about the good stuff. A new job, new accomplishment. But there are some things we keep concealed, from everyone. For many different reasons but most of the time it’s the simple fear of being judged. Why would anyone want to live in hypocrisy for fear of being judged, that’s just beyond me! Sadly enough that was me, I struggled with being honest about my heart issues because it would taint the good girl persona that I wanted so desperately to maintain. That mind states was just a terrible web of deception that kept me further and further in my sin. I prayed for good friends, people who would hold me accountable, be there in support, cover me in prayer offer me the chance to be that for them.  I needed community, real community. 

Accountability


I never knew what this looked like until I was almost forced to let new people in my life during a time of isolation. I have the chance to meet some amazing women who showed me what community for Christians looked like. They called me on a consistent basis, they prayed with me, they spent time with me, invited me to fellowships. I had never experienced anything like this in all my years of Christian living other than college. But in my adult life I felt like this is what I needed. I needed someone to show me what Christianity looked like on a daily basis from a practical stand point. 

We formed a relationship to the point where they would reach out to me when something seemed wrong or if I was not conducting myself in a way the represented Christ well. They challenged me on my beliefs and values. Something new for me as well. It was uncomfortable, there were times I was mad at them for how they challenged me but it was necessary. It helped me to grow as a Christian and consider my intentions behind the things I did or said. I though I didn’t want them in my life anymore but then I realized how important community is in the Christian community. My friends were the closest people to me, they were the ones who would help me grow in my walk, who would encourage me in the lord. 

We all are sinners, we all are capable of sin this is why it is important to let good Christian people in your life so that you can be held accountable to upholding Gods standards for your life. You need iron to sharpen Iron as Gods word says. It’s not good to have a bunch of “yes men” around you. You want people who are going to help you to grow. Share your heart with them, your struggles and desires. They will help you stay on track and encourage you in Gods word..  This is a big role and not everyone is mature enough to handle it. The best people to choose for this role will exhibit the following characteristics:

  1. Trustworthy -You have to be able to trust the person you are baring your soul to.  And also being honest can hurt, so you have to trust that their help is not with the intention to hurt you. 

  2. They have a genuine and exemplary love for God-There are many people that love God but don’t live a life that shows that. We need people who are a little deeper in their walk than we and are willing to be that help that we need.

  3. They are consistent – no one likes a flake and you cant grow with a here today gone tomorrow person

  4. They care for you and your best interest- that’s a good and true friend. They want to see you grow.

  5. They know Gods word and apply it to daily life- there’s a big difference between knowing Gods word and applying it.

  6. Consistent prayer life- This person will bare your burdens with you as a Christian should. Galatians 6:2

I have found this to be true in my adult life with the friendships that I have formed. It’s the fooled that says Mind your own business, we need community to help us Grow! I pray that you let someone in on the secrets of your life so that you can be made strong in your continuous walk with GOD.